Approximation of what my sudden vision was. © All rights reserved.

Approximation of what my sudden vision was. © All rights reserved.

At a private meditation group last night I was having trouble getting into the zone. My body was aching a bit and the habits of my monkey mind were disturbing me. One habit in particular that I had observed before was the mind as commentator with the purpose of remembering the experience. How does one still the mind and yet remember the experience? This particular meditation group sometimes has guided meditation or meditation with a goal or mental trip involved and participants are encouraged to share their experiences.

In such a situation I might find myself experiencing that I am walking down a dirt road and my monkey mind begins thinking, “So now I’m walking down a dirt road…” instead of just experiencing walking down the dirt road. This sort of mental commentary serves to distance me from the actual experience and is highly annoying as well. So I began the practice of observing the observer. While stilling the mind and attempting to stop thoughts, it is common to find yourself wandering mentally to the issues of one’s personal day. For example: “I wonder why Veronica didn’t return my phone call? It’s been almost three days. Is she angry with me…”etc. Then I observe the fact that I was thinking extraneous thoughts and bring my attention back to the place of non-thought. This is, to my knowledge, a common problem and technique used by practicing meditators.
So last night this is what I was doing when suddenly I see myself grasping a double edged sword by the blade and lots of blood coming off my right hand. The image is horrifying, but I feel no pain not even the empathic pain one feels when a friend or animal is injured, just the horrifying graphic. There is no surrounding scene and I had not been thinking about anything involving swords, blades, blood or injuries. I had been trying to still my mind from the pedestrian thoughts of the day.
Whence does such an image come?
This morning shortly after awakening but before arising and because I try to live an examined life, I am attempting to uncover why I continually feel mildly annoyed by the behavior of an acquaintance I see very occasionally. Suddenly an unrelated image pops fully formed into my mind. It is a glass table in the corner of a very white room on which I am arranging some lit fluorescent tubes which do not appear to be connected to wires or electrical source. I have the ability to bend these tubes without breaking them and I am in the midst of concocting an environmental light sculpture. Where do these fully fleshed scenes come from? I did have a very brief conversation with another friend yesterday about the use of LED bulbs on tall buildings. But that does not totally explain the scene bursting into my consciousness like a fully experienced event in the midst of thinking about an entirely other subject.
I try to write these experiences down because I have found in some other instances they may be portents of things to come, symbolically or literally. Sadly I don’t always have the time or opportunity to do so.
Fahrusha is a professional intuitive and life coach in the New York metropolitan area. http://www.fahrusha.com
Advertisements